Wenn es um Geld geht, ist die Harmonie in Beziehungen schnell vorbei. Ist es altbacken, die Finanzen gemeinsam zu regeln – oder sinnvoller, als es scheint?
Couples who merge their finances share a common goal instead of having independent goals. If couples don’t do this, they have less communication around money, values and goals in life, as well as a much higher probability of marital problems and divorce.
Discovering your partner’s spending habits allows you to get to know them better. While there might be some surprises, this will allow you to have open conversations with your children about finances, too. Young people are more likely to have open financial discussions when they start dating if their parents are financially transparent with each other.
Financial planning helps in the long term, especially when it comes to the so-called “3D eventualities”: death, dementia or divorce. According to a Twitter poll by British financial expert Martin Lewis, nearly 80 per cent of about 30,000 votes cast confirmed that one partner took responsibility for all or most of the finances in the household.
This set-up can cause unnecessary stress, particularly if one partner passes away. It’s important that both partners be prepared for every eventuality — that means couples need to keep track of their assets.
From a financial standpoint, prenuptial agreements make things easier before couples merge their finances. Then, both parties are aware of where they stand. There might be a significant difference between what the two partners are earning, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have a shared account. They can just split expenses on a proportional basis.
It always gets difficult if you start a relationship with assets of different values, so keeping things separate makes it easier. One partner may earn more than the other, or one partner might be a saver, while the other is a spender.
Differences like this can lead to conflict, so not merging your finances reduces the stress, and there’ll be less bickering about money. A lot of divorces are caused by money conflicts, so it’s important to have your own financial independence, but transparency is still important, and you should disclose your financial situation to your significant other.
It comes down to honest communication. If couples don’t merge their finances, they can still have another joint account for shared expenses. They can go through their spending and create a spreadsheet that details the cost of childcare, the groceries, energy bills, baby equipment, nursery, insurance and healthcare.
By writing down their expenditure, they can work out what they are spending on a weekly or monthly basis and adjust how much each partner is contributing to the joint account.
Having a separate joint savings account is an option, particularly if one partner is out of the workforce, but I never advise people to completely give up their personal accounts, because you need to have some financial accountability. It’s important to remember that it’s not just one person in the relationship.
You don’t want a situation where all finances are merged and only one person deals with the money — that’s where financial abuse can happen.