Deadlines, meetings, clients and bosses. These are a few of the things that are often out of our control in the workplace. Precisely because we can’t control them, they can put us under enormous pressure — which can make us lose control and lose our temper. How do you keep cool and stay polite in such difficult situations?
Identify the triggers
Diana Dawson, a career psychologist, says it’s important to know why you feel under pressure. She suggests keeping a journal of your thoughts, feelings and actions during times of stress. “Once we understand what triggers the stress, we can perhaps understand why that is and we can build strategies around those things,” she told The Guardian. When you’ve found the triggers, what’s next?
Reduce the feeling
Amanda Dudley, lecturer in Deakin University’s School of Psychology, recommends making a conscious effort to manage stress. If we don’t, she explains on “this.” — the career advice section on her university’s website — we can’t think clearly. She suggests “using a mantra” when your heart rate goes up. This means saying one word, such as “calm” or “relax”, over and over again in your head. If you remain calm, you’re more likely to stay polite.
Value politeness
Rudeness could lose you the respect of your colleagues and boss and, in extreme cases, even cost you your job. (Remember what happened to Uber’s CEO, who was videoed behaving like a jerk in a taxi? No? He had to resign.) “Saying hurtful or nasty things can be risky or dangerous to your professional reputation,” writes Jacqueline Whitmore, a business etiquette expert in Florida, on Entrepreneur.com. “It can also shatter your credibility.”
Don’t say it
Rather than risk your job or reputation, find a safe emotional release. Swati Mittal Jagetia, a certified professional coach with Purpose Squared in New York, suggests writing down your thoughts on paper — only to shred it afterwards. “Emails,” she warns, “can be saved, forwarded, and placed in your file for future reference.” Having such emails on your personal file could put an end to your career prospects.