“If either one has doubts, you’re dead,” says Karen Gordon, managing partner at L Catterton, a private equity firm based in the US. She doesn’t mean this literally, of course. She’s talking about being part of a “dual-career couple”, or “DCC”. “It is vital … that both partners share the commitment to a dual career and take pride in that,” she tells global consultants McKinsey & Company. “It’s important to align on the notion that you’re both happiest when you work and prioritize your family.” But is it really possible to prioritize both work and home?
The number of dual-career couples is on the rise globally. According to PewResearch.org, 66 per cent of US couples with children under the age of 18 are dual-income families. Both partners are employed in 76 per cent of British couples with two children. Many of these couples need two incomes to meet their household costs.
However, for some couples, both partners work by choice. Career fulfilment is a top priority. In these dual-career couples, both partners are typically well educated, work full-time in professional or managerial jobs and see themselves on an upward path in their careers.
“The struggle to balance two demanding careers … is a dilemma that many employees face every day,” says a special report by McKinsey & Company called “Making It Work: How Dual-Career Couples Find Career Fulfillment”.
People in dual-career relationships “often struggle to find such fulfillment,” the report says, “because the demands of work, home and their partner’s career can be overwhelming and sometimes even conflicting”.
Jennifer Petriglieri, a professor of organizational behaviour and author of the book Couples that Work, says that there is little guidance available for dual-career couples. “How can they give family commitments — and each other — their full attention while both of them are working in demanding roles? And when one of them wants to undertake a professional reinvention, what does that mean for the other?” she asks in the Harvard Business Review.
The advantages of navigating a successful dual-career partnership are clear, says Petriglieri: “When both partners dedicate themselves to work and to home life, they reap benefits such as increased economic freedom, a more satisfying relationship and a lower-than-average chance of divorce.”
She identifies three typical “transition points” for dual-career couples:
- Working as a couple: Creating interdependent lives, and addressing the values that underpin this change.
- Reinventing themselves: The need for “individuation”, typically in a person’s 40s (the so-called midlife crisis), and how to support each other in this process
- Loss and opportunity: How parents dying, children leaving home and personal health problems affect self-identity, and the ability to recognize and share opportunities that arise from these changes.
Communication is key. For Karen Gordon and her husband, this includes coordinating schedules at regular intervals. “We sit down most Sundays and go through our calendars for the coming week,” she told McKinsey & Company. “We figure out who can cover at home.”
Executive coach Amy Jen Su has further tips to help keep dual-career relationships functioning: think of your family as a team, get used to saying no (especially to things that threaten your work-life balance) and play to each other’s strengths and interests. “It’s worth remembering that work and home aren’t in opposition — they’re different aspects of life that constantly inform and influence each other,” she writes on HBR.com.
According to Helen Barrett, editor at FT.com, many businesses have failed to keep up with the zeitgeist. They continue to design careers “as if it were the 1980s” for single-career couples, where one half of the couple (usually the woman) is assumed to stay at home and happily follow their partner’s career ambitions. “Today’s professional employees are just as committed to their partner’s career as their own,” she writes, “which means they are more likely to resist foreign stints and the domestic upheaval that goes with them, at least until the time is right for their family unit.” Barrett believes that far too many of today’s bosses fail to understand modern working women.
McKinsey & Company’s report identifies a clear need for businesses to recognize the increase in the number of dual-career couples as an opportunity. “Ultimately, employees are more satisfied when their employers demonstrate a clear commitment to supporting dual-career couples and their families,” the report says. “A satisfied workforce is an invaluable asset to any business.”