There’s an art to social conversation — and also a little science. The idea that you have to “hold a conversation” makes it sound like you have to work hard at small talk. In business, there is some truth in this.
Do it well, and it can help to earn you social capital — those valuable and meaningful personal connections that are essential in the workplace, and in life more generally. Social capital is what you build when you take the time to focus on relationships, and not just on the bottom line. It can help to build trust with business partners, create a sense of belonging in teams and take the loneliness out of working from home.
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that small talk is just chit-chat on banal topics. The professional kind of small talk can provide many insights. Here are seven key tips for making your small talk professional.
Finding connections
The main purpose of small talk is to discover what you have in common with your business partners or colleagues. People often feel a connection when they find out that they have experienced similar things. You can highlight what you have in common by using expressions such as “Same here”, “Me, too” or “Me, neither”. You can also invite someone to explore possible connections with a simple question: “And you?”
Timing it right
Small talk can provide a welcome break from work at any time. How do you get started? In the workplace, you might pay someone a compliment on their office or on a personal item, provided that you don’t get too personal. Positive comments invite people to share information. In virtual meetings, this trick might not work, as we often can’t see much more than someone’s face (or the inside of their noses). In this case, stay with the basics at the beginning and the end of a meeting: the weather, the weekend and life outside work. The same topics work in emails or on collaboration platforms, too. And open questions are always good — those that can’t be answered with “yes” or “no”.
Playing by the rules
Whatever the national or company culture, the basic rule of thumb for small talk is that you avoid the top three taboos: religion, politics and corruption. That said, touching on these topics in a sensitive way could also help you understand the local community and local business practices. Ideally, you should not make any assumptions about anything, especially family life or personal beliefs. While most people are usually happy to make small talk, some may prefer to keep certain things private. If that person is you, make sure you know how to politely change the subject. If, on the other hand, you think you may have offended someone, quickly apologize and move on.
Telling a good story
Make use of the power of storytelling, but keep your stories short and sweet. Above all, don’t make them all about yourself. A good story has a clear beginning and a surprising end. The best stories highlight something you have learned from your experience or facts that might be interesting to your audience.
Showing interest
If you are genuinely interested in other people, you’ll find it easy to show interest in them. And it’s very easy to tell if someone is interested in you: they’ll ask you relevant questions and give appropriate feedback.
Remembering the details
Small talk flows best when you are open to sharing information — and when you remember what someone has shared with you in the past. Remembering personal details makes the other person feel important, which can help build social capital.
Moving on
In a work setting, too much chit-chat can look unprofessional, especially if other people in the meeting or office feel excluded from the conversation. Always be ready to change the focus back to business.