“You’re unlikely to make a good impression if you say no too quickly”
Consider what’s at stake before you say no to your boss. While it’s rarely a good strategy to say no to a reasonable request — or to one that could be good for your career — it’s also never a good idea to say yes if you’re already overworked. But saying no to your manager requires a high level of confidence if you want to pull it off well. Why is that?
Most of us have what psychologists call a harshness bias. This is when we believe that people will think badly of us if we don’t respond positively to a request. In reality, however, people tend to respect a no if it’s clearly justified.
To avoid taking on the wrong kind of work, or more work than you can realistically manage, it’s important to get the timing, the tone and the reasoning of your no right. Here, we provide you with useful language and techniques to help you get it right.
1. Taking your time
You’re unlikely to make a good impression if you say no too quickly. First of all, thank your boss for trusting you with a task or project. The more time-consuming and complex the request, the more “thankful” you might try to appear.
2. Learning the facts
If you already have a full workload, any additional task may feel unreasonable. But before you say no (or yes for that matter), make sure you have all the facts in front of you. Indicate that you are seriously considering the request by asking relevant questions — the kind that will help you decide whether you should take on the extra work or not. Ask about timelines, deadlines and responsibilities, so you know exactly what to expect.
3. Voicing your concerns
If the answers to your questions confirm that you don’t have the time, skills or expertise to perform the task well, now is your chance to voice your concerns. Ideally, you should provide evidence that backs up your concerns in a way that shows you have a professional attitude to your work. You could use common idioms at first to show you are busy (“I have too much on my plate”), but you will also need to provide details of your workload.
4. Being firm
You don’t want to be pigeonholed as someone who is not willing to support the team, but you also don’t want to be seen as a pushover. So, if a request is completely outside your normal remit, be firm when you turn it down. If you feel uncomfortable saying no in a direct way, or prefer to keep the tone light, you can soften your response with “I’m afraid...”, as in “I’m afraid I can’t free up any time for this”. However, it’s not a good idea to dither too long or start your replies with “I don’t think...”. This makes you seem less determined. Your boss might then sense your hesitation and decide to play hardball with you.
5. Talking about your workload
Your manager may genuinely not realize how heavy your workload is. To help you stand your ground, get into the habit of allocating specific times in your calendar for work and personal commitments, and not just for meetings. That way, a quick glance at your schedule should tell you whether or not you have time for a new task. Moreover, this technique will help you to quickly list anything that can justify your no and help you stick to it.
6. Asking for support
If the request still isn’t going away, ask your boss for their views on how to deal with your full workload. Discuss whether there is anything you can delay or give to someone else. And if you feel you don’t have the necessary skills to complete the task, ask if you can work on it with someone who does.
7. Accepting yes
If you have presented your arguments well, you should be able to win over your boss. However, sometimes, you will just have to accept that you have to say yes. In this situation, make sure that you confirm what the priorities are and what you can give up or delay. Then try to focus on the advantage of having a boss who trusts you with more responsibilities.