Careers & Management - Interview with Margaret Davis

Margarets, your latest How to article is about being a good listener. Why is that so difficult? Well, in some ways, it's just human nature. Most of us like to talk, and our favorite topic to talk about is ourselves. So there's a natural instinct to get our own stories in there, even when someone else is talking. So you've probably also experienced this. A colleague is talking about his weekend or about a conference he attended, and it reminds you of something that happened to you on the weekend or a similar experience at a conference. Almost before you realize it, you're thinking about that experience and not listening to your colleague anymore. By the time you concentrate on him again, he's talking about something completely different, and you realize you've totally lost the thread of the conversation. So how do you prevent this happening? It's not always easy, but basically it means concentrating fully on what the other person is saying. Make eye contact. But don't stare, because that's just creepy. Try not to interrupt and try to be aware of the fact that people communicate in different ways. Some think and talk quickly, while others need more time to express themselves. And here's a tip for dealing with someone who is not a native speaker of your language. Don't jump in to help. If the other person is struggling to find the right word, give them time to come up with it on their own. Otherwise, you come across as arrogant. Of course, if your conversation partner asks you for help, by all means, give them support. Do you have any other tips for being a good listener? According to career counselor Diane Schilling, most people aren't coming to you for solutions to their problems. They just want to have a sounding board. If you can't resist offering good advice, she says, you should at least ask the speakers permission. So she suggests you say something like, Would you like to hear my ideas? Another useful tip from Diane Schilling has to do with listening to instructions either from a manager or even at home with a spouse or partner. Always restate instructions and messages to be sure you understand correctly, she says. Now that's really good advice, and I can imagine it could improve life at home as well as life at work. Many thanks for coming in to talk to us, Margaret. You're welcome. Thank you.