Unloved?
“I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself”
Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
The character of Jane Eyre leads a sad and lonely life. A young orphan who’s been rejected by her nearest relatives, she’s sent to a horrific school and forced to make her own way in life. But Jane’s inner strength keeps her going, all the way through the novel to the last page. She’s an inspirational heroine for all time.
Defeated?
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars”
Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere’s Fan
The Irish writer Oscar Wilde was famous for his wit. When he was jailed and had to do two years of hard labour because of his homosexuality, he must have felt despair, but he turned his anger into great writing and a call for better prison conditions. Like his character in the comic play Lady Windermere’s Fan, Wilde knew that it’s possible to be down but not out.
Made a mistake?
“Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”
L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
Anne, the young orphan in the classic Canadian children’s book from 1908, is a cheerful, chatty child. After a miserable early childhood, she’s sent to live with a farmer and his sister, who end up adopting the girl. Anne is so pleased with her new life and friends that she’s always able to look on the bright side, even when she makes mistakes. Tomorrow is another day – with the chance of making a whole new load of mistakes!
Bad luck?
“You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from”
Cormac McCarthy, No Country for Old Men
This little piece of Texan wisdom is given by an old sheriff who is badly injured in the line of duty, but still has a philosophical view of life. It means we should try to look on the bright side because we never know if something worse might have happened. Your bad luck in missing the train might have saved you from the worse luck of a crash, for example. Or your bad luck in being dumped by a partner may have saved you from a worse relationship in the long run.
Being laughed at?
“Laugh as much as you choose, but you will not laugh me out of my opinion”
Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
This is a great quote to keep up your sleeve for those moments when you suspect that someone’s mocking you. In Jane Austen’s novel, the pleasant, kind Jane Bennett’s good view of people is gently mocked by her more spirited sister Elizabeth, but she holds firm in her opinions – as we all should if we’re teased or belittled for our opinions or beliefs.
Facing a challenge?
“Beware; for I am fearless, and therefore powerful”
Mary Shelley, Frankenstein
Viktor Frankenstein can’t control his creation – not because it’s physically large and strong, but because it has no fear. If you have no fear, or at least can hide your fear well, you’ll appear more powerful. Perhaps we shouldn’t be taking life lessons from an amoral monster with a taste for murder, but if you’re feeling small and anxious, try repeating this line to yourself and see if it helps!
Frustrated?
“Don’t let anybody, anybody convince you this is the way the world is and therefore must be. It must be the way it ought to be”
Toni Morrison, The Source of Self-Regard
Toni Morrison spent her life writing about the African-American experience, particularly that of women. Her characters struggle against injustice, slavery, racism, violence and expectations of conformity. So, if you’re frustrated by something you see as unfair or unnecessary, repeat Toni Morrison’s advice to yourself, and then get on with trying to change the system. The challenges we face in our own lives probably won’t be as large as those faced by Morrison and her characters!
Disagreement with a friend?
“It doesn’t matter what you believe just so [as long as] you’re sincere”
Charles M. Schultz, Peanuts
Snoopy and the rest of the Peanuts gang are among the great philosophers. Linus believes that the Great Pumpkin will bring toys to all the good children at Halloween. Charlie Brown knows that it’s Santa Claus who brings toys, and that he comes at Christmas, not Halloween. Linus’s plea for tolerance is worth remembering if you’ve fallen out with a friend over something as unimportant as your opinions about religion, politics or even vaccinations. Friendship is usually more important in the end.
Tempted to tell a lie?
“If you tell the truth, you do not need a good memory!”
Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
It’s always easier to tell the truth, rather than fabricate a complex tale of untruths. If you lie, you’ll probably get found out sooner or later, as your lies multiply. It’s simpler to stick to the plain truth. Mark Twain’s good advice is often quoted by TV’s Judge Judy, who sees a lot of liars in her courtroom and always finds them out.
Putting things off?
“My advice is, never do tomorrow what you can do today. Procrastination is the thief of time”
Charles Dickens, David Copperfield
We all do it – put things off, thinking, “I’ll do it tomorrow”. If we just start the job today, we can get it done more quickly – and have the pleasure of crossing it off our to-do list. Dickens wrote a whole shelf full of thick novels, so he clearly took his own advice. The phrase “Procrastination is the thief of time” is actually older than Dickens – he was quoting from an earlier writer, Edward Young. Are you putting off doing something? Could you do it today?
Missing a loved one?
“’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”
Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam
Tennyson wrote this long poem in 1850, in honour of a close friend who had died suddenly at the age of 22. The poem was written more than a decade later, when Tennyson’s grief had softened, and he could try to examine it with his head rather than his heart. He explores the cruelty of death through the perspective of natural science and faith. The poem was a favourite of Queen Victoria’s, who said it gave her comfort after the death of her husband, Prince Albert.
Bereaved?
“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear”
C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
When you’re bereaved, it’s not always helpful when others tell you that they know how you feel, even if it’s kindly meant. Grief feels different to everyone – not only consisting of sadness, but also frustration, despair, anger, denial and, for the poet C. S. Lewis, fear. The part of the quotation above that might be helpful is, “No one ever told me”. It’s normal if your reaction is different to what you expected, or if it’s different from other people’s. We can only try to recognize our own emotions and live with them in the moment.
Risk of catastrophe?
“Don’t panic”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
We end with probably the most useful advice of all, just two words: “Don’t panic”. Not even with an exclamation mark, but a simple, calm recommendation not to waste your energy flapping about. In Adams’s funny book, these wise words are on the cover of a guidebook for intergalactic space travellers. The writer Arthur C. Clarke said that it was perhaps the best advice that could be given to humanity. When Elon Musk’s Tesla Roadster was launched into space in 2018, “DON’T PANIC!” appeared on the screen of its dashboard, in tribute to Adams.