Professional networking often takes place in informal settings — during a break at a conference, at a social event or over a cup of coffee. Through conversations, you can build mutually beneficial relationships with the people you meet and create a strong professional network, which may help your career development. The most successful people are often the most connected. But what if talking to strangers doesn't come naturally? Let's look at some simple techniques that can make your conversations more interesting and easier to manage.
Ice-breaking
"Nice weather, isn't it?" This is something of a cliché, of course, but with good reason. As a conversation starter, the weather works. It's a neutral subject that's difficult to disagree about — the perfect icebreaker, but not the only one. You can use the context you are in. For example:
- Your names (How do you pronounce your name? Is that a French name?)
- Company names/logos (What does the company logo signify?)
- Visual references (This is an unusual-looking building, isn't it?)
- Third parties (I thought the presenter was excellent. Do you know her name?)
- Atmosphere (There's a lot going on. Have you heard some good talks so far?)
It helps to be proactive. After you make a statement, listen carefully to the reaction and follow up with a question. Then listen carefully to the answer.
Asking questions
The best conversationalist I've ever known is a former co-worker. He often speaks relatively little but always gets the other person to talk a lot. He does it by asking open questions — which usually start with "what", "why", "how", etc. (What did you do next? How did you manage that? Why did they want to know that?) These questions get people talking.
You can ask closed questions to clarify specific information. (Did that happen recently? Have you heard him speak before?) Closed questions explore your partner's thoughts in more detail and ensure that you understand what they are saying.
Listening for clues
Many people feel nervous when talking to someone they don't know, and a common nervous reaction is to talk too much. But to have a good conversation, listening is just as important as speaking. Listen for clues that can help you discover your partner's interests and experience. Your partner might mention their family. Reciprocate by talking about yours (My son has also just started school.) and ask more about theirs. They might mention a name you recognize. Ask how they know the person. (That name rings a bell. Who is she?) You can also drop some clues about yourself and see whether your partner follows them up. (I haven't lived in London very long. I'm still learning where everything is.)
Sharing interests
Conversations really get going when you find mutual interests or shared experiences. There are several areas you can explore to see if you're on the same wavelength.
Can you find hobbies or interests you have in common? (Do you follow football at all?) Have you lived or worked in the same places? (Where exactly in the US are you based?) Do you have any colleagues or acquaintances in common? It can just as easily be a mutual dislike — such as food, unpleasant experiences or difficult situations. (I try to avoid long flights. Jet lag doesn't agree with me.)
Listen especially for your partner's "hot buttons" — those interests that light up their eyes and get them talking. Encourage them to tell you more by asking follow-up questions.
The business of networking
It is easier to find common business concerns after building a social relationship with shared interests. Start by discussing business in general. (Supply-chain issues have been challenging for the whole industry.) Then go on to describe in a couple of sentences what your organization does and what you do there. Be positive, brief and clear. This can be a basis for learning more about each other's business interests.
Good conversational skills are an important tool for building business connections, and a wide network with people at all professional levels lets you share ideas and skills. And, on a personal level, having more people in your life gives you the chance to make new friends.