Years ago, there were schools in northern Germany for the children of families stationed with the British army. Two of the schools were in Hamm, and they had patriotic British names: Windsor Boys' School and Windsor Girls' School. It so happens that the German School in London is in Ham (with one "m"), a district in Richmond, which lies south-west of the capital on a beautiful stretch of the Thames.
The area is not short of green spaces. Richmond Park and Kew Gardens are nearby, and across the river you can visit Syon Park, with its wonderful 18th-century conservatory, and lakeside walks in the parkland.
Syon Park is also a tidal meadow that can flood when the tide is in, even though the sea is a good 30 miles to the east. It's a special habitat, with a sign telling you about local wildlife, such as the German hairy snail (Pseudotrichia rubiginosa).
Not that it looks very hairy in the picture. And I'm not sure you'll find many in Germany. You might have more luck near the Thames, in Isleworth or Gunnersbury.
How did German hairy snails get there? Did they arrive as pets for the pupils, to stop them getting homesick? No. The sign explains that the snails have been there since the last ice age.
There's also a bit of tidal meadow at Ham House, which is another of the area's many historic buildings. It's located near Ham Lands (also a green space), and has the sort of address that makes vegetarians nervous: Ham House, Ham Street, Ham.
The house was built in Shakespeare's time, but the layout you see today is really from the second half of the 17th century. It's extremely well preserved, and the cantilever staircase, with its lovely carvings, is spectacular.
While Syon Park is laid out as an 18th-century English landscape, Ham House has the earlier formal style of a garden. Here, too, there's helpful information on signs. You might, for example, find a plant called a "German flag iris". Surely these people must be joking. German hairy snails? An iris whose flowers are black, red and gold? Next, they'll be telling us that they have ducks that quack the German national anthem.
The one time I visited London's German School was when Wolf Biermann was giving a concert there. I somehow doubt that British cultural icons went to perform at British army schools in Hamm.
Reinhard Mey may have put them off by making fun of the town's railway station in his song, "Hauptbahnhof Hamm". But, in any case, these patriotic schools would probably not have been interested in concerts unless the performers were willing to do some flag-waving.